Discovering Your Desires - 4 Exercises

Not sure about what you want from life? You’re far from alone – and you’re not strange. Ready to move forward? Here are four exercises to guide you.

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.” - Thomas Jefferson

How Can I Find Out What I Want in Life?

Thomas Jefferson had it right. If you’re unsure of your desires, there’s one thing you definitely shouldn’t do: nothing.

Doing nothing – speculating, philosophizing, doubting, and complaining – gets us nowhere.

If you don’t know what you want, it’s time to discover it. And you won’t find that out by sitting still. Discover it by taking action, experimenting, and trying new things. Start with these four exercises.

Shall we begin? Set aside half an hour tonight, grab your notebook, and write along.

Download Your Free Step-by-Step Plan (PDF)

Your Pathway to Quickly Finding Direction in Life Gain more direction in your life quickly – use my practical 6-step plan to develop focus and guidance today. Find your answers fast. Download the free PDF now!

1. A Mess of Negativity

Are you struggling to figure out what you want? You probably know what you don’t want. One thing you don’t want is to feel like your life lacks purpose.

Great. What else?

Write on a blank page: what do I want less of? And list your answers.

• What experiences do I want less of?
• What possessions do I want less of?
• What activities do I want less of?
• What emotions do I want less of?
• What characteristics do I want less of?

Write freely. Not all the things you want to eliminate from your life. For example:

• Not enough money.
• Being overweight.
• Lack of direction.
• Feeling overwhelmed.
• Loneliness.
• Frequent illness.
• Insecurity.
• Feeling belittled at work.

All the misery in your life. All the things that don’t bring you happiness. Write them down. This page should look like a big mess of negativity.

Once you’ve written down plenty of negatives, it’s time to move on.

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. — Jim Rohn

2. What Do You Want More Of?

Now for the fun part. What do I want more of? Please write it down and get started.

• What experiences do I want more of?
• What possessions do I want more of?
• What activities do I want more of?
• What emotions do I want more of?
• What characteristics do I want more of?

Write down whatever comes to mind. There are always things you want more of. Still struggling? Use your previous list for inspiration. Take each item from that negativity list and flip it. For example:

• Plenty of money.
• Being slim and fit.
• Living with purpose.
• Feeling calm and relaxed.
• A good relationship and great friends.
• Feeling confident about myself.
• Happiness at work.

It’s as simple as that. Once you’ve done this, you have a list of things you want. It’s not the final answer, but you’re on the right path.

3. What Does Your Ideal Life Look Like?

Deep down, you know what you want. But you might be afraid to dream big because you’re scared those dreams won’t come true. Or because you fear creating that life is too much of a hassle.

So, you don’t try. You accept the current situation – even if it doesn’t make you happy – because it’s easier than striving for a better life.

Understandable. But not always desirable. So, let’s let go of that feeling for a moment. What would you want if you couldn’t fail?

Suppose you could enter a cheat code for unlimited money, health, and talents. What would your ideal life look like? What would you do if you could choose freely?

Don’t worry about whether it will happen or not. The idea is to get to know yourself better. This won’t be a project plan. It’s purely for inspiration. You can’t do it wrong.

Step 1: Your Ideal Life

Write a short story describing your ideal life. You can do this on your tablet or PC if it’s easier. Use your previous list for inspiration. After all, your perfect life contains many things you want more of.

Imagine you open your eyes now, and everything is as you want. What does it look like? What are the circumstances?

Where do you live? Who are the people in your life? How do you spend your time? How much money do you have? How do you feel? What do you look like?

Please write it down for yourself. And don’t be ashamed – no one needs to see this. You don’t even have to keep it. You’re writing it just for yourself. Enjoy it, and get into it. This exercise should give you a great feeling. :)

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” — Aristotle

Step 2: Your Ideal Day

Now, please do the same, but make it more specific. You wake up on an ordinary morning in this perfect life. What does your day look like?

Describe your day in great detail. You get out of bed and stretch. What happens next? What do you do? What do you eat? Who are you with? How do you feel? Make it as accurate as possible for yourself.

What does a typical day look like when everything is great? From the moment you get up until the moment you go to bed.

4. What Could Be Even Better?

You’ve come a long way, and you’ve probably generated a lot of inspiration. Let’s take it a step further.

Use your last two stories as a basis and ask yourself: what could be even better than this? “What would bring me more satisfaction, joy, and happiness?”

“If I throw all my fears and insecurities overboard, if I stop doubting, if I don’t hold back or limit myself – what would my ideal life look like then?”

This exercise challenges you to discover what you want. What lies beneath all those uncertainties, doubts, and constraints?

Rewrite your stories and see how it feels. Does this feel good? Does this feel like a life worth living? If yes, great. If not, adjust something until it does feel right.

Voilà – You’ve Got a Fire Under You

After doing these exercises, you won’t have a definitive answer. But you’ll have a new guide to help you move forward. And often, that’s enough to break free from your doubts.

The point is that often, we know what we want, but we lack the courage to pursue it.

That’s logical because many of our deepest desires lie outside our comfort zone. Because deep down, we want to grow, develop ourselves, and ultimately move closer to freedom and love.

Review your work critically and see what lessons you can draw from it. You might conclude that you’re on the right track with a few minor adjustments. And maybe you’ll realize it’s time to take the plunge, no matter how scary it feels.

In any case – do something. Because by doing, you’ll discover what you want. Don’t get stuck in doubts; push yourself forward. Then, things will work out naturally.

The best way to predict the future is to create it. — Peter Drucker

Personalized Guidance Available

Are you ready to sharpen your focus and achieve your goals with the power of simplicity? Schedule a personal consultation now. Discover how targeted guidance and strategies can accelerate your progress and enhance your success.

Take Action

Let this be when you focus fully on what truly matters. Book a Consultation and turn your clear vision into reality. Be focused. Be successful.

Stay Ahead of the Curve

If you found this article insightful and wish to master digital interactions and personal growth, subscribe to the Letter to Boost Your Mondays.

Catch My Daily Posts on Medium!

Explore daily articles on Medium, where I delve into personal growth, lifestyle design, and productivity. Each piece is crafted to inspire and provoke thought, blending practical advice with personal insights. Keep in touch with my latest reflections and join by following me at Medium