Why These 8 Obstacles Might Be Blocking Your Happiness

Achieving happiness isn’t always easy. Here are eight common barriers that might be standing in your way. Are these barriers holding you back?

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. – Charles R. Swindoll

1. Expecting Life to Be Fair

Life has never been fair and likely never will be due to the diverse situations people find themselves in.

Unfair things happen, and justice is often hard to find. This is just part of life, which can sometimes feel profoundly unsettling and leave you powerless.

While you can work towards a fairer world by advocating for equal opportunities and rights, remember that complete fairness is unattainable, no matter how much effort you put in.

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2. Choosing the Safe Path to Avoid Pain

In the short term, the safe path often feels less painful because it’s usually the easiest option. However, it can cause more pain in the long run.

• Staying with a partner who mistreats you feels safe because it’s familiar, but it will lead to more significant pain over time.
• Lighting another cigarette after quitting feels comforting now, but it harms your health and finances in the long term.
• Not expressing your opinions to avoid conflict keeps you safe but prevents you from living authentically.
• Staying at a job you dislike is more accessible than finding a new one, but it can lead to burnout or depression.

Think about the long-term consequences of your decisions. Often, the safe path ends up being the most painful one.

3. Believing You Can Control Everything

It’s OK to feel in control by organizing and planning your life. This significantly influences how your life unfolds.

But you will never achieve more than a feeling of control. Proper control is unattainable, and that’s a harsh lesson to learn, mainly when unexpected events occur.

You can influence your life but cannot control its course entirely.

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. – Chuck Palahniuk

4. Thinking the Future Will Be Worse

Believing that the future will worsen can be self-defeating and create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you think efforts for a better future are pointless, you won’t strive for it.

No one can predict the future or fully understand how our world works. It’s too complex. Some people see a bright future, others bleak, but both are likely wrong.

Several significant trends are working in our favor, making the future likely better than you think. So, there is every reason to work towards a better world.

5. Comparing Yourself to Others

According to societal standards, others might be richer, smarter, or more attractive. But so what?

That dissatisfaction you feel ensures others seem better off. It’s not about how successful, intelligent, or famous you are; it’s about being content with yourself and your life.

If you achieve contentment, you’ll be among the happiest people. Few are content. If you succeed, you’ll be among the best off, regardless of other factors.

6. Expecting Others to Love You

People aren’t obligated to do anything. Believing they must love you can push them away, no matter how hard you try.

Love should flow naturally. If you lack love, start by giving it, which begins with loving yourself.

Once you truly love yourself, you can spread love to others. When you give love, it returns, and people will show their love for you. Love starts with you. Overflow with it, and the rest follows naturally.

Don’t let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It’s your life, not theirs. – Roy T. Bennett

7. Viewing Suffering as Negative

Suffering is a valuable part of the human experience. It makes us stronger and teaches us about ourselves, our strengths, and our weaknesses.

Difficult times prompt hard decisions and new directions. Often, only unbearable suffering spurs action, which makes a difference.

Many people emerge stronger from challenges or use their lessons to help others.

This doesn’t mean all suffering is good. Much is unnecessary and harmful. However, acknowledging your pain during tough times can help you grow. Observing your pain shows that you and your feelings are separate entities. You experience feelings, but you are not your feelings, and that makes a world of difference.

8. Believing Others Are Responsible for Your Happiness

They aren’t, and believing this leads to disappointment and frustration. Everyone is responsible for their happiness. It might sound selfish, but it’s the truth.

You can’t make someone else completely happy, and they can’t make you completely happy. We must find happiness within ourselves. Good relationships contribute to happiness, but you must build them with the right people.

Everyone walks their path. If you want more from life, you need to chart your course. Following someone else won’t work since your paths won’t match. Following others will shortchange you and prevent true happiness.

Your happiness is your responsibility. If something blocks your happiness, it’s up to you to change it. Sometimes you’ll get help, sometimes you won’t. Sometimes, you’ll need to push forward despite obstacles. That’s life—it’s not always fair, fun, or painless.

We all face tough times, and that’s OK. It’s part of growth. Growth is painful, but it’s often worth it. To improve your life, take action, seek help, learn, and organize. Once you embrace this idea, happiness becomes much more attainable.

You cannot control everything that happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you. – Brian Tracy

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